Subscribe Feed (RSS)This is the story of my early days on Twitter, how I discovered my Direct Messages (DMs) and why I never send a thank you to a new follower via one, plus how I deal with the messages I receive that may thank me for a follow.
When I first became active on Twitter, during the last few days of October 2008, I quickly followed about 1000 people. I knew one person on Twitter so I sent him my one and only message until a few days later, and then followed the two people he followed, then the people they followed, then the people the followed… until I found someone who had about 20,000 followers and I then began to follow people who were following over 1000 people.
From the beginning, I was more interested in following than being followed.
I find people interesting, often surprisingly wonderful and I can learn from others. I already know the stuff I know.
Suddenly my email was filled with messages from people I was newly following on Twitter. At first this was fun. Then it became a tiresome chore as I answered each one. I was even checking out links!
I sat back and happily watched my stream for about three days until I saw a message about something on Twitter called a DM. One of my earliest messages, since I was watching not tweeting, was to ask what a DM was. I put the question out generally as I had no idea how to reply or ReTweet.
That is how I discovered my DMs. Or, as I refer to it today, my Dratted Messages of Spam.
Dratted Messages of Spam
As I waded through over a hundred messages, wondering which ones I’d seen and answered and if any were new, I noticed that over two thirds contained links. Since I am polite it seemed important to answer each person, even those who did not follow back.
Less than a year ago the situation in my DMs was easier to manage as bots were sending an individual’s messages, but the hucksters had not caught on to setting up dummy accounts and getting unsuspecting members to spew there offerings of games, “free gifts”, amazing ways to get 500 new followers daily sent by people who have under 500 followers, and other …well, stuff that is junk to me.
However, there were some very nice people sending simple thank you’s for a follow. There still are. Some of those thanks you’s are not automated.
I wondered if I should send thank you for the follow DMs too? It seemed like a lot of work as I still did not know of automated services on Twitter. What to do?
I had discovered @ChrisBrogan, who was and is one of the wisest and best Social Media advisers I know. I scanned through all my DMs, which I had not deleted as I thought they might come in handy somehow – and I did not have a DM from Chris. No DMs thinking me for a follow from any of the good Social Media advisers I knew or even those who had many followers.
I believe I scrolled through Chris Brogan’s (@ChrisBrogan ) web site looking to find advice. I may even have figured out how to reply to someone in order to ask his advice. I wanted to be polite to the people who had decided to follow me, which was then about 150, but I was looking to get out of writing 150 more emails!
What I discovered is that none of the people who are great social media advisers send DMs when someone follows them. I followed their lead. It has been very successful for me.
To date, I have only sent one DM for a follow, which was a heartfelt message without a link to a celebrity musician I admire. Soon after that he unfollowed me.
When someone follows me, I follow back. A follow is a kind of “Hello”. I do not use an automated service to do it so I can see their avatar, the most recent Tweet and even check out the profile page. I often check out links to websites after we are tweeting in the stream. Is easy to follow back as we can always unfollow.
When I meet someone and say “Hi” I never hope for a thank you , just a “Hi” back. Same goes for a follow. I have never wondered why someone I followed did not thank me, but I have wondered why they chose not to follow me back if our interests are obviously related. Oh, well…
How I Handle DMs that thank me for a follow
I read but immediately delete all DMs that include a link in the thank you but follow me back — except if the link is from a fellow visual artist, writer, filmmaker or musician who is clearly not sending an automated or buy-my-stuff message. Those are the only links that I will check. I may even respond.
I immediately unfollow everyone who sends a spammy link but fails to follow me back.
I do this very quickly before they have a chance to catch up with the speed of their automated message and follow me back. I also delete the message.
I do try to respond back via DMs usually to those who send a thank you without a link.
People who mention my art and website or Tweets—showing that the message is not automated will generally get a reply.
People who use True Twit validation service have a strong chance of my unfollowing them.
If they have a nice smiling avatar and seem really new to Twitter I may follow the link and fill out the captcha, but I’m wondering if this person is worth following since they can’t be bothered to simply check out my stream and follower count themselves.
True Twit is a service that people subscribe to in order to make sure they do not follow back spammers. While the idea is good, since it is an automated service that also sends an automated message, I find it annoying although ironic. Even more ironic is that when one follows the link True Twit is pitching there service. So in essence it a kind of spammy link that the unsuspecting True Twit subscribers are sending automatically to DMs.
The simple way for anyone to check if a follower or someone you’re considering following is not a spammer, but interesting to you is to look at their stream. Plus, anyone with over 5,000 followers is probably not a spammer.
Yet, the need for someone to check out who is real to follow back exists. Probably some clever VA’s will step on and provide this service, which cannot be done by a bot. Or True Twit will figure out a way to validate accounts of recognized good Twitterers so those people never see or get the DM with the link to True Twit again.
Some of the True Twit users do just also follow back, but their automated message arrives in my DMs anyway. Those who do not manage to figure out that I am real and use no bots on Twitter I simply unfollow after a few days so that I can follow others who want a relationship.
I hang in with people have not followed back but send the bot message in DMs, “You can join the discussion by sending a message to @ “mytwitterID.”
This is a really dumb message that newbies are duped into sending by some bot service. This message infers that the follower is not already joining in discussions, which is dumb, because they did manage to find the sender to follow.
But, I was a newbie once, so now I wait a period of three days. If the newbie has not followed back, I unfollow. I might continue to follow if the Tweets were really interesting, funny or informative, but so far this has not happened. What we had potentially going was some relationship and that involves two way communications.
Next
OK. Now you know how I handle thank you’s regarding DMs.
Follow me, I’m @judyrey . I will follow you back—and you know I won’t DM you with a thank you or link. I never send an unrequested shortened link in a DM.
And importantly, next it’s your turn.
Voice your opinions and ideas in the comments below. What works for you? What do you agree with or like? What do you do differently? Several of my blogs re Twitter have become a kind of ongoing discussion, which benefits the community.
Please do include your Twitter ID in the body of your comment so people can follow you!
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Judy Rey Wasserman is an artist and the founder of Post Conceptual Art theory and also the branch known as UnGraven Image Art. Download a free copy click: Manifesto of Post Conceptual Art– A Painting’s Meaning is Inherent in its Stroke.
Check out the limited and open edition prints in the estore.
Follow her on Twitter at @judyrey .]
Tags: Direct Messages, DM, Follow, Followers, following, link, links, spam, spammers, thank you, Twitter
Excellent explanation of the wasted DM function, and why to avoid “thank you” messages. Spam is a real problem for Twitter users, and DMs are a prime culprit. Besides, if i really want to talk to someone, it’s usually not a secret, so I just use @reply. Great post!
I think the emphasis that a follow back is a “relationship” is horse mularky. A follow back means nothing if there is no engagement. As as you and I can both see, as I am the only one nice enough to leave a comment, when there is no engagement, there is no relationship. You’ve followed back everyone from spammers to haters, yet it hasn’t gotten engagement. Maybe, a different approach is needed because Twitter isn’t about having a one way conversation with yourself about your product and the people who like your product. Nope, Twitter is about engagement and sharing. Something that is not dependent on the “follow-back.”
You presented really good info on DMs for newbies like me. I’m an artist & want to tweet and meet other artists, see what they do, how they express their art, etc. Typically, I only DM to other artists.
I was reading what you wrote and nodding my head yep, that’s the way it is, yep, that happened to me…I can totally relate. Great explanation about the DMing on Twitter. The spam DMs really are annoying and I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.
This is a good post and once again proves that the individual is in charge of his/her Twitter experience, and while some people are against DMS, other very successful and very authentic Twitter individuals (like @adriandayton and @RizzoTees)do it and do it quite well. I actually do send out DMS to all people that follow me, because I want them to follow my family members on Twitter, and I would say 99/100 I get some very positive responses since I am asking people to follow my brothers and sisters, whom I love so much, and for those who question my practices, I say thank you and move on. That is what I do. Also, I use DMS all the time to connect with my clients on Twitter and my friends. Again, I would argue that there is no right way to do it, just be yourself, be transparent and control it the way YOU want to control it. In the end, that is all that matters. Excellent post. Thanks for streaming it.
Julio
This is something that has bothered me for some time. It seems weird to thank someone for following you since part of the basis of twitter is following but I receive these message and wonder if I should respond to the thank you’s or if I should also be saying thank you. Even worse, like you mentioned, are the ones with the links. Thanks for following me, check out my blog or whatever. I can also understand the other hand of wanting to acknowledge someone so they feel noticed in the sea of twitters but that’s where reading their tweets and responding should come in. Generally, I tend to ignore. I unfollowed a couple people the other day who kept DM “gift me back” — annoying and rude. If I want to give you a gift I’ll give you a gift, don’t tell me too.
Great explanation of DM followers.
Great post… I used TrueTwit for a while but then gave up after the barrage of direct messages they were sending me…. and it didn’t seem to work anyway!
So glad you decide to write this… I’m a newbie and still learning my way around. Now I now better…:-) I DM my thanks personally because I think it’s polite and I include the link to my website in case the person is interested to know more about me. From the DMs I received and the links that they gave, I can roughly judge whether I should pay further attention to that person or not.
However I’m still at loss whether I should return a follow from someone with only one or no tweet at all and no link provided… Are they considered as spammers?
Great post Judy! I still don’t get Twitter and I don’t get the automated stuff either. The push to buy, buy boggles my mind. I thought Twitter was a social thing, to share knowledge, a laugh and a sale if people were buying anyway. The DM messages gets me too.
The only thanks that I ever acknowledge from my DMs do NOT contain a link. Don’t thank anyone for a simple follow. It is not a committment or anything more than a simple hello. It’s a taste test. As far as I can remember the bst people I know on Twitter never thanked me for following them.
Most people with only one tweet and no link turn out to be spammers. They are the folks who are busy sending messages with links to our DMs. But remember, you can always unfollow.
A very thoughtful article that addresses one of my complaints about Twitter. The “thank you for following me + link” dm is anathema. I am an online retailer and I pledge NEVER to send an auto DM to a follower. I wish more would do so.
I would take it further than you do however, and not just unfollow spammers, but block them as well. This sends a message to Twitter. If it’s porno, I will also report to @spam.
Also,not to pick nits…but, you need to learn the difference between “there” (an indication of place) and “their” (an indication of ownership). This error must show up five or six times in this post.
I don’t feel guilty now about not answering my “thank you” DMs. Much appreciated info!
Very insightful. I appreciate hearing another tweeter’s point of view about the DM’s because they do get so exhausting! I am fairly new to twitter & I was torn between responding to the hundreds of Dm’s I get from new people I choose to follow. I can rest at ease now that I know I’m not the only one who simply responds to heart-felt non-automated DM’s. Thanks.
Judy, I think you have covered the sentiments of many people on twitter. I use twitter as a way to connect with people, and have discussions. I follow those who interest me, and I don’t follow back because someone may like me, but I may not like them. I don’t think it is considered proper etiquette to follow back just for the sake of following back. However, there are days when I will find many people to follow and if I get an auto DM back from them with a link, chances are they will be unfollowed immediately.
Anyways, your post was spot on, and i’ve always enjoyed following you.
Cheers!
@justiniiams
Thanks! I enjoy following you too!
Great post and very timely for me. I’ve been flip-flopping about whether to send DMs when I get a new follower. I particularly like the point you made that those with 20K+ followers don’t do it – always great to follow the habits of those who are successful. Thanks again.
@OttawaAthlete
PS – I’m glad I didn’t DM you when you followed me.
Very timely and helpful. Now if you can tell me why I am do popular in India, a mystery to me. One more follower and I will have to learn Hindi
Very timely and helpful. Now if you can tell me why I am so popular in India, a mystery to me. One more follower and I will have to learn Hindi
Thank you Judy. I am relatively new to Twitter (4 weeks) and am making some nice acquaintances. I am still learning and this DM thing has had me puzzled. I answer everything myself because I wanted to learn the “correct way” to engage. I’m sure I have made a few errors along the way but I am honored to be followed by about 1,200 good folks within my short 4 weeks with Twitter. I spend entirely too much time weeding out spam. You really clarified a few things and I am very appreciative. If anyone would like to follow me @Randy_Thompson I will happily follow you back and I will no longer send a DM thank you for following. Now for this whole #FF or #FollowFriday thing and all the thank you’s for those and the RT’s still some etiquette that I am trying to get my head wrapped around. Thanks again Judy, great post.
Randy,
I’m happy that you’ve joined Twitter!
Twitter does a great job of dealing with the spammers. You can also send a DM to @spam about anyone who is a real pest. Everyone should follow @spam–who follows back!
JR
I am happy to be popular in many countries. It is wonderful to have new friends around the world. One of my favorite things about Twitter. -JR
Really
I wasn’t impressed or understood the need 4 this post? Don’t we all do the same?
Thank you for posting this! I created my Twitter account in December ’09 and immediately noticed those direct mail thank you’s. At first, I didn’t know they were automated and thought people were really sending me personal messages. Soon after, I realized they were spammy in nature but I still thought it was nice to say thank you. I sent out many thank you DMs with personalized messages, but this post made me realize that it’s not necessary and may be perceived as spam. Thank you for helping me make that realization.
I got here because I was googling TrueTwit. I got my first DM asking me to go verify that I was a real human; and since I don’t click on links in DMs, I was looking it up.
I find TrueTwit sort of offensive; in that if someone can’t be bothered to see that I’m a real human, I fail to see why I should have to to the work for them.
In regards to some of your other points; I don’t ever follow anyone with the expectation that they are thereby “obligated” to follow me back. And if people follow me with that same assumption, and then, like you have a very brief period by which I MUST follow them back or they’ll unfollow me…then…they probably weren’t following me because they wanted to read what I tweet…but because they have some imaginary number of followers they’re trying to reach.
I follow people whom I find interesting. I would hope that those people who have followed me do it because they find *me* interesting. But I tell ya, I’m insanely busy, and I don’t have time to check my followers every day. Heck, I might remember to check that email address once a month.
But people who insist that I validate something before they follow me, or people who will unfollow me because I didn’t meet some arbitrary deadline of which I was unaware…well, those people are just going to have to miss out on my insane babble and random links to neuroscience.
Thanks for this post from a really new Twitterer! I’m trying to learn, but I’m confused about how to answer folks who mention me. And all the hashtags just cross my eyes! lol! I retweet posts that interest me & have used DM to speak to just that person & not everyone who reads my tweets. And I’ve included a link maybe once, (but it re’d the topic we were on). What’s the best way to retweet a post that has been retweeted a lot? How do you delete mentions & dm’s? (I haven’t figured that one out yet…maybe I’m a little slow, but “back to top of page”! Thanks for any advice! @tangoj3 is me!
Thank you for a fine article, Judy. I believe we are mutually linked, at least I hope you haven’t unfollowed me, since I did send you a thank-you, I believe.
Thanks for the post and good questions, Teresa.
I especially enjoy RTing posts that have been RT’d a lot by people I’m in Follow-follow relationships with. The most names I’ve RT’d on a Tweet is 6 — but this takes a short message and Twitter ID’s that are short – under 9 characters.
Generally, I keep all the names on a Tweet that RT’d it. I think it is good etiquitte. However, if one person has joined the train of names twice, I will delete one of those RTs. I often RT people who have Rt’d me. For instance you could see” @judyrey RT @Someone RT @judyrey Blah Blah Tweet” In this instance it is fine to take the most recent @judyrey off the line. I would still get the exposure of any RT as the originator.
I would never remove the person who originated the tweet.
DMs are easy to delete. At the right hand bottom corner of every DM is the word delete and a small trash can. Just click on it and that DM disappears.
We cannot delete anyone’s Tweets from the stream, except for our own.
I only unfollow people who do not follow me. As long as you follow me– I am following back. However, every now and then Twitter works on coding and it unfollows people. I have not noticed this happening since last spring, but before that it did. If you think this happened there are two things you can do.
1. Unfollow the person . Count slowly to 10 and then follow them back. You will show up as a “new” follower and probably if the person did not purposefully unfollow you, when the see you as a follower again they will just follow back.
2. Contact the person and ask. Only do this with really good pals, or me because if you’ve been following me and somehow I am not following back, there is a mistake.
Hope that helps. @judyrey
[...] [Note: for more on DMs see: How to Deal with Thank You's in Twitter DMs – both Sending and Receiving ] [...]
Nice Post,I wasn’t sure what the proper etiquette was.Thanks for clarifying.
I agree, tyvm for sharing this..